Page 13 - The Wave Holistic and Metaphysical Journal Sept/Oct 2016

Struggling out of the haze of anesthesia,
my body felt heavy, deadened. Every cell screamed at me. I was too groggy to react to the anxious faces around my hospital bed, too dazed to understand the nurses asking me how
I felt. When I was clear enough to realize the kind of surgery I’d just received, I was furious
and totally, unbelievably, betrayed! Only my lumbar spine had needed fusion, not my entire spine! My doctor had lied to me, and performed a surgery I’d not wanted, needed, nor agreed to. I’d somehow become a guinea pig for his study of radical spinal fusions.
But I was stuck with it. As I lay in my hospital bed, totally miserable, with 99 staples
in my spine, I realized I’d never again dance, horseback ride, sit on the grass, cross my legs, run, play sports, bike, cut my own toenails, or take care of various personal needs. I knew I’d have to live with the constant danger of falls, since my balance would always be dramatically impaired. Yet, I’d felt guided to have this surgery! Now I wondered why?
A week later in a Rehab hospital, after daily working with a physical therapist, I awoke and couldn’t move, lift a fork, or get out of bed due overwhelming pain in every cell. The immense number of drugs I was taking fogged my brain, so I couldn’t help heal myself through self-hypnosis or energy work. I knew I was dying, for I could feel my cells turning off like light switches.
My nurses didn’t know what to do, and
my pain doctor discounted the severity of my situation. I felt spiritually abandoned, with nary an Angel or Spirit Guide in sight. Broken and hopeless, I resigned myself to death.
But late that night I awoke with a beautiful
group of Spirit Beings at my bedside, plus a Spirit fox, deer, rabbit and coyote. A stern-faced Native American man knelt at the foot of my bed, a quiet sentinel, holding a tall bow with a sheaf of arrows on his back. Not at all afraid, I watched them all, fascinated.
“At last you’re awake”, said the lovely Spirit Leader, as she walked over to me. “We’re here to help you. You’re moving into a new level of consciousness, a rebirth, a new life direction”.
For hours, her group filled me with healing energy, love and light. Then just before they left, my fear of death was confirmed.
“You’re being poisoned by a bad drug interaction”, the Spirit leader said. “If you don’t ring your nurse immediately to tell your doctor to change your meds, you will surely die.”
She was proven right: I called the night nurse, she contacted my doctor, my meds were changed, and my life was saved.
Since then, my body and my life have radically transformed: I’ve gone through the Phoenix fire of Rebirth. As a hypnotherapist and healer, I specialize now in helping those badly damaged
by illness, injury, or surgery to regain their joy
of life, develop courage and self-love, discover the beauty of their changed body, and to learn self-healing. My own life and radically changed body provide my inspiration and my continuing education.
My life has been an ongoing journey through death and rebirth. Each rebirth, I’ve arisen from the ashes of my old life like a Phoenix, with more advanced goals, spiritual awareness, and new gifts of wisdom and learning. Each time,
The Phoenix Journey:
Rebirth After Trauma
by Gail Raborn, CHT.
Sept/Oct 2016 13